For today, I figured I’d give some quotes from the two best comedians, who ever set foot on the planet.

“I was gonna have my teeth whitened, but then I said fuck that! I’ll just get a tan instead.” - Mitch Hedberg

“I’d like to see a positive lsd news story, is that news worthy, for once, just to see what it’s all about? Today a young man on acid realized that all mater is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream, to an imagination of itself, here’s tom with the weather.” - Bill Hicks

Great stuff, from the two.